He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
