I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
