oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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