Do you still have your period?
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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