i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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