so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
My balls are so social today.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
