he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
