OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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