hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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