she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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