its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
