in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
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I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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