I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
