ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Randomize
