Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
