On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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