Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
