is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
