On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
