I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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