Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
