She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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