That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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