Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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