Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
