I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
