the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
