Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
