FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
