He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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