He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
