just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
there is glitter all over my balls
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