She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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