Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
barbara walters just said penis...
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
