I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
