I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
