I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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