then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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