i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
we should paint friendship bongs
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
