Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
