He kissed a someone with a penis
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
