Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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