Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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