Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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