just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
