We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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