Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
