after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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