How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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