then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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