the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
