You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize