What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
