So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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