I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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