you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
You are the jesus of drinking
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
