you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I want to fling myself into the sun
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