Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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