Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
A+ Viking dick
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