You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
