fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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