Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
