you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I need a beard to bite.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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