Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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