Pregnant stripper...not hot.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
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