Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
