What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Panties = found
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
