Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize