the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
We left an ass print on the piano.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize