I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
