Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
