They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
as a side note pls kill me
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