I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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