when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
