I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
