Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Naked. naked and bneed help.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
