It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Randomize
