This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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