He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Farmville is her only friend.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
