I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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