Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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