I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
The struggles of a small town man whore
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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