Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
