He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
