Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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