I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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