I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
