oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
