Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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