captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize