we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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